’m really tired of lockdowns.
I’m tired of hearing we’re in Code Red and to assume the position.
I’m tired of pulling students I may or may not know into my classroom.
I’m tired of ushering them into a dark corner to hunker down.
I’m tired of hearing my voice shake as I tell them to be quiet and take it seriously.
I’m tired of watching them choose their coping mechanism this time around: tears, frustration, nonchalance, humor.
I’m tired of telling them to put away their phones.
I’m tired of making them sit, uncomfortable and uncertain, for hours.
I’m tired of watching them squirm because they have to pee.
I’m tired of me squirming because I have to pee.
I’m tired of girls bleeding through their tampons because they can’t go to the bathroom.
And I’m tired of being grateful that someone didn’t bleed out from something far worse.
I’m tired of squad cars pulling fast and furious into our parking lots.
I’m tired of SWAT teams running armed and aggressive inside our halls.
And I’m tired of being ever-so-grateful that they were here.
I’m tired of hoaxes and crank calls.
And I’m tired of being grateful it was “just a hoax.”
I’m tired. My students are tired.
We’re okay.
And we understand that just being tired after a lockdown is a luxury many haven’t had.
But that doesn’t make it okay.
This has got to stop.