The boys and I didn’t go to the game last night. We stayed home to recover from a short week that wound up being waaaaaaay long. Between the school-shooting horrors, a problematic medical finding, and some soft-lockdown stressors, the boys and I needed a quiet night.

I only wish my husband could have had that luxury. But he was in Calhoun helping commandeer a decided victory. He’s tired. God knows he is. He got home at 1:00 AM after a loooooong night.

While we were in the comfort of our home all-night-long – eating chicken nuggets and milk shakes.

And it does not escape me that there is a football coach from Winder, Georgia who will never return to the comfort of his home or the comfort of his wife and kids. Nor will they ever be wrapped in the comfort of his strong arms.

When the scores scrolled across the screen last night, the games in Barrow County — followed by the chillingly understated CANCELED — left me feeling hollow and sick and furious and afraid and fed up. And guilty.

I felt guilty that we were home safe and sound and four people from Winder are not. Guilty that my husband is still on the sidelines doing what he loves, while another wife’s husband is not. Guilty for thanking God it wasn’t our school. Guilty that our sons have parents who love them and shelter them, who clothe and feed them. Who don’t lock them out of the house at night. Who don’t buy them assault rifles for Christmas. Who don’t leave our weapons out and unsecured. Who don’t need FBI agents to tell us to do so in the first place.

I’m so tired of all these feelings. So tired of feeling hollow and sick and furious and afraid and fed up and guilty all at the same time.

But I don’t know how to make any of it better. I know what the problems are.

We have a mental health problem. We do.

We have a parenting problem. We do.

We have a gun problem. We do.

We have huge deficits and we have huge surpluses… and that creates a very big problem.

But y’all… teachers are not the solution. We aren’t. We can’t be.

We can’t be counselors. We can’t replace parents. And we can’t combat guns.

Our job is to love and educate the children of our country.

But somebody’s got to help us keep them alive. Somebody’s got to help keep us alive.

Somebody help.

We’re sending out an SOS. Please save our schools.